Sunday’s Wisdom #15: What Love Is

“I don’t even know what love is.”

“That’s ok! I do! Love is putting someone else’s needs before yours, like… you know, how Kristoff brought you back here to Hans and left you forever.”

“…Kristoff… loves me?”

“Wow… you really don’t know anything about love, do you?”

“Olaf, you’re melting!”

“Some people are worth melting for.” (melting process continues) “Just maybe not right this second!”

-Anna and Olaf
Frozen

Once again, on the theme of S̶i̶n̶g̶l̶e̶’̶s̶ A̶w̶a̶r̶e̶n̶e̶s̶s̶ D̶a̶y̶ b̶e̶a̶r̶i̶n̶g̶ d̶o̶w̶n̶ o̶n̶ u̶s̶ l̶i̶k̶e̶ a̶n̶ i̶m̶m̶e̶n̶s̶e̶ p̶a̶c̶k̶ o̶f̶  r̶a̶v̶i̶n̶g̶,̶ i̶m̶p̶l̶a̶c̶a̶b̶l̶e̶, b̶l̶o̶o̶d̶t̶h̶i̶r̶s̶t̶y̶ h̶o̶u̶n̶d̶s̶ l̶e̶t̶ l̶o̶o̶s̶e̶  f̶r̶o̶m̶  t̶h̶e̶  d̶e̶e̶p̶e̶s̶t̶ p̶i̶t̶s̶ o̶f̶ T̶a̶r̶t̶a̶r̶u̶s̶ t̶o̶ ̶r̶e̶n̶d̶ ̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶s̶o̶u̶l̶s̶ ̶i̶n̶t̶o̶ ̶m̶i̶l̶l̶i̶o̶n̶s̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶m̶i̶l̶l̶i̶o̶n̶s̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶t̶e̶e̶n̶y̶ ̶t̶i̶n̶y̶ ̶p̶i̶e̶c̶e̶s̶ Valentine’s Day making it’s glorious, happy, saccharine-themed approach, another quote regarding love.

Real love.

I am feeling particularly passionate about this with the upcoming release of that obscenity called Fifty Shades of Grey. Words do not, cannot, describe how much I hate what it represents. Not the BDSM part – though that has always creeped me out, personally, but whatever floats your boat – but the sheer, controlling, abusive nature of such a relationship, and how that is being touted as romance. As love.

So, I find this quote from Frozen, a fairly unique movie just for having a discussion on what love is and is not, to be perfect.

Anna has, at this point, learned that she has “fallen in love” with a false man, a deceiving, power-hungry murderer. Now she learns what love is, and, even more, that she hasn’t noticed it. Not only does Olaf the snowman tell her, clearly and simply, what it is, but he also provides two examples, one in word, mentioning Kristoff, and one in deed, as he helps her even at risk to his life.

The best part is that this isn’t limited to romantic love. It’s all love. Be it between romantic partners, friends, comrades, family, or even complete strangers, love is putting oneself second to another.

However, as Fifty Shades is keen on perverting this, Olaf also demonstrates that there is a balance to this. He is willing to die for Anna, his friend, because that is who he is, and she is worth it, but… one need not rush headlong and sacrifice everything, always, at a whim!

And note: Olaf says nothing about putting someone else’s will and whim and wants before your own. Put their needs before yours, yes. Put their needs before your desires, yes. But don’t give up everything you need and want just for them. After all, if they love you, then they will make sacrifices for you as well, and as willingly as you do for them.

Balance.

It’s always a question of balance.

Heck, this last week on Nashville featured my favorite couple, Avery and Juliette, coming to a compromise as they communicated with each other, each one giving a little ground, and getting something wondrous in return, together. Proof that they love each other.

If that’s not a realistic example of a couple’s love for each other, I don’t know what is.

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