The acting was wooden, forced, unnatural.
The plot was simplistic and yet incomprehensible, simultaneously.
The music was desperate to be epic at all times, and forgot about setting the appropriate mood.
The drama, and the acting which drove said drama, was campy to the extreme, worse than Gotham’s premiere.
The script could not have been more perfectly designed for Mystery Science Theater 3000 if they had tried. Very hard. A few examples, all from about one minute of run-time at the climax of the episode:
“Because she’s just a girl? That’s exactly what we were counting on.” How? How, exactly, does her gender come into play in this fight?
“Do it now!” Apparently Kara needs to be told when to use her laser vision on the axe that’s mere inches from her eyeballs.
“I can’t do it!” (she says as she’s melting the axe with her life on the line) “Kara, this is why you were sent here!” (“It is your destiny! Use the force, Luke!”)
They revealed everything foreboding far too soon, including everything about who the enemy is and where they come from and why they want to kill Kara. How, exactly, does everyone know everything except for Kara? Did the DEO catch a particularly talkative enemy?
They changed the characters and their backgrounds far too much. This was not Kara’s story, especially not her story from any of the comics, which is hilarious considering how the previews were all, “You know my cousin’s story, but not mine.” But this was Clark Kent’s story, only inserting Kara into Clark’s place, complete with crashing to Earth, raised on a farm, went to the big city to work in the media, acting like a dork, Jimmy Olsen, and even a Kryptonian general (female version of Zod, anyone?) as her foe. Oh, and her enemies have grudges against one of her parents, like Superman’s do against Jor-El, only their enemy is her mother, because female empowerment.
Speaking of, there was an extreme overemphasis on how this is a FEMALE superhero, with a FEMALE boss, and a FEMALE emotional support, and a FEMALE enemy who commands male minions, and it is her FEMALE parent who her enemies have a grudge against.
Not to mention, Superman isn’t really going to appear in this show, yet his presence saturates it. He is completely absent, not even taking his only surviving biological relative into his own home, just pawning her off onto someone else. He doesn’t even talk to her directly, with either his super speed or a phone call, which is pretty extreme avoidance. Yet for being so absent, his shadow is overwhelming for her. Everyone refers to him. More female empowerment stuff, having to struggle in the shadow of the neglectful man.
I also hated the whole “Girl vs Woman” thing from the moment we saw it in the previews, but it wasn’t until one of my fellow bloggers commented on this that I figured out why. Any man would feel insulted to be called “Boy,” right? But they come out guns blazing to justify calling her “Girl” instead of “Woman,” insulting everyone who would so much as raise an eyebrow about it.
In short, really not impressed, but it could prove tragically hilarious, as I was laughing at how terrible it was long before the end.