…they actually did it after all.
You know, the latest Fantastic Four was going to get a sequel, but at least Fox scrapped that particular plan after we made it clear how much we noticed the movie sucked.
While one can easily argue that such was the worst superhero movie in history, it was definitely not worse than the reboot of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, as produced by Paramount and Nickelodeon. That one, I wanted brain bleach after watching. I was fortunate that I could watch Guardians of the Galaxy for a third time to wash out the mental aftertaste.
And, of course, I heard about the sequel, and I rolled my eyes and sighed. Sometimes I really hate sequelmania.
Now they’ve dropped the first trailer for said sequel, entitled Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows.
I didn’t intend to comment on this, as it seemed completely like a waste of time, but, to my surprise, it’s actually… getting some favorable reactions?
Since I’m taking up an opposing viewpoint, I figure I might as well blog it! 😉
So, here’s the trailer:
And here’s my reaction, starting with: a profound lack of optimism.
See, when the first trailer for the first reboot film hit us, I was actually excited. It promised tension, action, and comedy. Good stuff. And from Michael Bay, I was hoping something of a quality similar to Transformers (the first one, I mean). And look what we got instead. (actually, wait, no, don’t look, that is cruel of me to tell you to look at that movie)
So the sequel’s trailer is promising: tension, action, and comedy. We’ve been down that road before. So, the question: what else is it promising?
Let’s see, starting from the beginning…
An invasion by mysterious flying vehicles from an opening in the sky. K, fine, bringing Dimension X and Krang into the mix, but they had a biological terror attack on the entire city last time, and all to conquer just one city, which is a petty ambition for organizations that are already international. Also, I am waiting for someone to point out how this is totally ripping off Avengers the way the first one ripped off Amazing Spider-Man.
Turtle van, which only Donny really knows how to use, apparently, at least at first.
They’re being openly interviewed by the press. I’m guessing that comes towards the end of the film, as their secret protection of the city is brought out into the open. (more Avengers influence, anyone?)
April is a bit less terrified of the ninjas. Small wonder, with how her friends keep kicking their butts.
Stephen Amell makes his entry as Casey Jones, saving April. I will admit, it’s an appealing thought, but as the one thing Fantastic Four had in its favor was the actors, I am not getting my hopes up just because of who is playing April’s love interest. Though, at the very least, maybe Michelangelo will finally quit it with the boyfriend poser stuff? That was annoying.
Shredder looks like Shredder instead of a robot. Ok, aesthetic upgrade.
Bebop and Rocksteady. Who seem to have originally been a couple of black punks in this version, which… how is that supposed to work? The first version of this story I heard, the ooze made you like the last animal you touched, so the turtles got humanity from Splinter while he became like the sewer rats. Second version I heard, animals simply became more like humans. This version had something similar to the second version, but now humans are becoming like animals? What? How’s that work? Then again, things didn’t really “work” in the first movie, soooooo….
Also, while these two mutant minions of Shredder have the physical capability to keep up with the turtles, we’re talking about a couple of thugs versus four trained ninjas. Or at least what passes for such in this continuity. Shouldn’t the turtles dominate this contest? Now, Casey and April, they are in trouble against these two. Not to mention… they have a tank. Ok, that, I admit, is something, to have the turtles going up against a tank.
Megan Fox. More of. And more blatant sex appeal. The trailer is actually promising more explosions and more sexy Megan. …huh… why am I not more excited by that? Oh, right, the first movie sucked so terribly that seeing them flash a particularly fine chest on the screen in hopes of getting me to see the second one does the opposite of inspiring confidence and excitement.
Sum-up: it looks like it will look good, outside some CGI issues, but besides that… nope, not going to go see this one. I am more interested in Batman v Superman than this, and that is more an academic interest than an excitement for the film itself.