“If only we had more time. I wish that things could have been different between us. But we have to say ‘goodbye.’”
– Yuri Nakamura, Angel Beats
Episode 13, “Graduation”

If only.

Are there any words more sad than these?

Angel Beats is an anime about facing death, and accepting life. That struggle is represented by many of the characters, none more so than Yuri Nakamura, or Yurippe, as she’s often called. She has fought, more than anyone, to not accept the cruel hand that was dealt to her and her loved ones. To that end, she mistakenly fought against one of the other characters, not realizing they were actually all in the same proverbial boat. When she finally finds peace, and lets go of her animosity, the one thing she wishes is that she had let herself be friends with the one she treated like an antagonist. They do enjoy a few happy moments together, but then the time comes, all too quickly, that they must part.

What is done is done.

The past cannot be changed, and if we carry our regrets around forever, we may never know peace. All we can do is move forward, and we can’t do that while facing backward.

Eventually, everyone must part ways. Some now, some later, but it always, always happens.

So, if you want a good relationship with those closest to you, don’t wait.

If you want to repair a relationship, don’t wait.

If you want to improve something in your life, don’t wait.

We know that the time to say goodbye is coming, and we don’t know when it will arrive, so make the best of your time here, today, now.

Take those sad, sad words, and wipe them away. Turn them into something better.

I find this is particularly powerful in my mind and heart, today.

Today is the fifth anniversary since I started blogging. Five years. About nine-hundred and eighty posts. I have no idea how many words, but it’s a big number. Today, I find myself contemplating the past, the present, and the future, both in regards to my life overall, and to my blog, especially.

I don’t know a thing about what the future holds, except for one: there are endings coming.

My life, my time on this Earth, my time to give, and live, and write… it will eventually end, and that ending will most likely be sudden, without warning. The same applies to the lives of everyone and every creature in my life. My friends, my relatives, my pets, everything.

So I’d best make the best use of my life, and my time with the people I love, as I can.

My blog will eventually end. I’m sad to think about that, but it is inevitable. Sooner or later, something will happen, and Merlin’s Musings will simply stop, and never start again. Eventually, everything I’ve posted on here will vanish in a puff of smoke, all of my words simply gone, just like any memory of me will eventually die out.

…but not just yet! 😉

It may sound depressing to contemplate the future, but the fact is, I am still alive. Here, now, today, I am alive.

I am alive, and writing, and loving, and helping, and working, and getting frustrated, and petting my fluffy dogs, and facing my problems, and spending every moment as well as I can.

While I am alive, I can keep my course, or alter it as I choose, so as to live, and die, with as few regrets as possible.

What’s that old saying? Where there’s life, there’s hope?

So, while the future is intimidating, and the past is irreversible, the present is magnificent, and full of hope. The time for goodbye will come, but it hasn’t come yet.

Every moment I have, I can still make it count, both in my real-world life, and here, on my humble little blog.

And I will continue with my humble little blog for as long as I can.

Here’s hoping the good times last for awhile yet!

Here’s hoping “goodbye” takes its time to arrive!

Here’s to another five years! 🙂