The Vampire Dies in No Time is a satire and a comedy. With only a dozen episodes, it’s only one season long, and it starts out strong and fairly witty in its hilarity, but fails to keep that up even to the end of its run. It’s like the creators had all these hysterical ideas, but then ran out of them and had to keep going for a bit, whereupon their wits devolved into lewd, crude, and boob. And if that’s your thing, then more power to you, but it isn’t mine. Thus, I enjoyed the earlier portion of this anime much more than the latter.

The vampire in question is Draluc, a skinny little weakling of a vampire so frail in his constitution that he dies and turns to ash at even the slightest things: a moment of fear, getting startled, getting hit by a door, that sort of thing. Fortunately, he is still immortal and pulls himself back together in short order every time.

The premise of the story is that Draluc, being so weak and harmless, is permitted to stay with his new friend, the world-famous vampire hunter, Ronaldo! This comes after Ronaldo sort of accidentally burned Draluc’s home to the ground. As it happens, Ronaldo is not quite all he’s cracked up to be, either, but he’s competent enough, and he publishes stories which are loosely based on his adventures (thus, his fame). Which leads to some truly funny scenes involving Ronaldo’s editor coming down on him hard as deadlines approach, every bit as terrifying as the worst vampires in the world.

Other characters add flavor and provide jobs for the unlikely duo, but they aren’t usually important beyond the moment. There are various other hunters in the local guild, there’s Draluc’s vampire family (with their INSANE patriarch), and there’s the Vampire Control Bureau, most especially a pretty, sword-wielding, young lady named Hinaichi, very strict but easily flustered. She’s monitors Draluc to determine if he’s a threat, and is so taken by his gentlemanly behavior (and the cookies he bakes) that she constantly decides that he needs further monitoring. IE, she has a crush on him, and I would so totally be there for that vampire romance, between such a straight-laced officer woman and a vampire who is not trying to seduce her, he’s just decent and surprisingly weak. But they have yet to do that.

Oh, and there’s John. The adorable armadillo that everyone with a heart loves.

I mean… how could you not?

Between the zany antics of various hunters and vampires, most especially that of Draluc’s grandfather, the anime really is very funny at first. But, as one episode follows another, that humor starts to wither. I mean, having some over-the-top lewd joke works once or maybe twice, but it came to dominate each and every episode towards the end. And that is such a shame because 1) it started out so brilliantly and 2) with all those hunters and vampires and vampire control people and even a potential vampire romance, it just felt like such a waste to not explore all of these characters and possible plots more. It wouldn’t have to be serious, of course, as “serious” is not in the nature of this anime, but, still, it could have been a whole lot better, and a whole lot more wholesome, than it was.

Apparently this anime, like Nagatoro, has another season coming out at the start of next year, in just a couple more months. But, really, the way the first season ended, I am hesitant to even try it. I suppose I could use another application of my one-episode rule, see if the first episode of season two is more intelligent or more crude. But either way, my point is that the first season did not leave me particularly excited for a second season, ya know? It was nice, for awhile, and due props for that, but that’s as far as it goes.

Rating: I give The Vampire Dies in No Time 6 stars out of 10.

Grade: C-minus.